Daycare Fear
My three-year-old son is afraid of another child at his daycare centre. What should I do?
The first step is to acknowledge his feelings. “It may be real or imagined, but nonetheless the child feels it,” says Alice Taylor, a children’s behavioural consultant in North Rustico, P.E.I. Reassure your child that you and the teacher will help. Next, explore why your son might be fearful. Is he new to daycare? Is he adjusting to family changes? It’s normal for him to feel apprehensive. “Ask the teacher how your son behaves,” says Taylor. “Come up with a plan to help him adjust.” For example, the teacher could greet your child and get him started with an activity, and keep an eye on the child he’s afraid of. Let your son learn to handle problems. “Children being picked on need to be brave and stand up for themselves. Daycare is great to help them learn these skills,” says Taylor. “Those who are aggressive can learn to be more empathetic under the watchful guidance of the teacher. In early childhood, the main social skills are entering play with other children, maintaining play and resolving conflicts, which children need…to cope at school and when they’re out in the world.”
Acknowledge your child’s feelings, but don’t give in. Taylor suggests explaining that you understand your son’s fears, but it’s his job to attend daycare, just like it’s your job to go to work. Let him know you believe in him. At home, allow him to experience new things to develop confidence. Try inviting another child over to play or finding a play group.
If you sense that things still aren’t right, Taylor suggests consulting a family or child therapist. “Children are always going to have little challenges, but if you’re not comfortable with what’s happening after intervention and a period of time, it might be time to seek assistance. Trust your own instincts – you are the expert on your child.”
