Serves four.

Ingredients:

- 1 pound fresh, peeled shrimp
- 1 cup flour
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup panko bread crumbs
- a teaspoon each of chili powder and cayenne pepper (optional)
- pinch each of salt and pepper
- 1 red pepper
- 1/2 cup sliced red onion
-1/4 cup olive oil
- Fajita fixin’s (tortillas, salsa, guacamole, sour cream, tomatoes, shredded lettuce and whatever else you like!)

Directions

Set up your breading station with flour on one plate, the two eggs (beaten) on a second plate and the panko bread crumbs combined with half of the cayenne and chili pepper and a pinch of salt and pepper on a third plate.

Dredge each of the shrimp in the flour, then coat in egg then coat in bread crumb mixture. Repeat until all shrimp are completely breaded.

In a large skillet over medium heat, heat a third of the olive oil. When pan is hot, add the sliced red pepper and onion with the remained spices and a little more salt and pepper to the pan. sautee until veggies are warm and tender.

While veggies are cooking, heat the rest of the olive oil in another large skillet over medium-high heat. Add breaded shrimp to hot oil and cook about a minute and a half on each side until bread crumbs are golden and shrimp is cooked.

Combine shrimp and veggies on a large platter and serve with the rest of the fajita fixings!

Judy’s blog “What Do I Know? I’m Just the Babysitter” is a humourous, often sarcastic series of stories based on her daily experiences caring for children. She blogs partly as a means to vent and partly to offer helpful insights to parents and other caregivers who are struggling to raise well-behaved children. Raising her own two children and providing care to others for over eight years, Judy has learned a thing or two about the subject.

To explore some of the most hot-button issues around discipline today, Together Family has enlisted the help of Judy; Nicolle, a mother of a seven month old son who is about to open her own daycare centre; and Dr. Danielle Grenier, a paediatrician, the director of medical affairs for the Canadian Paediatric Society and an editor of Well Beings: A Guide to Health in Child Care.

So let’s get started on some of the types of discipline used and the pros and cons of each:

Friendly Parents

Judy has witnessed parents trying to be their children’s friends far too often. She takes issue with some parents’ fear of establishing their role as the leader in order to be well liked by their children. In her daycare she describes an almost literal flick of a switch when each child’s parent leaves because they know that Judy is in charge now. She makes the expectations clear, which Judy believes, is exactly what children need and crave.

“Children today are in such a state of chaos. Their tiny little brains are constantly ‘on.’” Because children are so busy trying to figure out the world, they need limits from their parents to guide them through this overwhelming endeavour. Children aren’t bad. When they misbehave they are simply testing the waters and pleading for someone to show them limits.

Dr. Grenier echoes a similar sentiment but knows how difficult that saying “no” to our children can be. “It’s the hardest part for parents because we love them,” says Dr. Grenier. “But children need limits and the more the limits are clear, the more the temper tantrums will decrease.”

Whether it’s about being friendly or not, Nicolle believes the first step to good discipline is establishing a mutual respect between parent and child. “If you create an atmosphere of mutual respect, children will emulate the good behaviour of their caregivers,” Nicolle explains. “If discipline is done without respect, children will likely learn not to behave badly when they are being watched, however, if they feel they can get away with something, they will do it, because they don’t respect the adult, they simply fear them. ”

Time Outs

“Time outs simply do not work, says Judy. ”It is utterly ridiculous to assume that a child will sit in time out for the popular philosophy of one minute for every year of their age.” Judy goes on to explain the three main reasons that she’s seen time outs fail in the past: “First, time outs actually give attention to the offender. Second, the punishment often does not fit the crime, and third, the child is prone to re-offend because they did not see a direct personal consequence for their actions.”

The only way for them to learn, according to Judy, is if a child is directly and personally affected. “Some examples include time away from the group in a playpen for a period of time (not a minute or two), being made ‘last’ in every activity for the day, or simply not being given choices until they are earned back through good behavior,” Judy explains.

Unlike Judy, Dr. Danielle Grenier, the childcare guide Well Beings, and the Canadian Paediatric Society of Canada collectively support and promote the use of time outs as an effective discipline tool. “Time out sends [the child] away from the trouble spot, and into an isolated area such as a room, chair, quiet corner, hallway, crib, or playpen,” according to CPS guidelines.

Nicolle is somewhere in between these two opinions, believing that “time outs” are necessary for people of all ages but not as a punishment. When she opens her daycare, she will make use of a quiet, reflective corner for “time outs.” This will be a space for children to calm themselves down, take a break and reflect on their behaviour or feelings.

As for punishment, Nicolle prefers to use reasoning and word cues to show children the difference between right and wrong. “When you do that, it makes me sad,” Nicolle explains as an example of a way to reason with a child and help them to learn empathy.

Redirection

This form of discipline serves to stop the bad behaviour by ‘redirecting’ them to an alternate activity that is acceptable. However, Nicolle believes this serves as a distraction when there is a real opportunity to teach the child something. Providing an alternative, more acceptable option for play can work in certain circumstances but it should not replace the parent telling the child that something was done wrong.

As Judy points out – there should be a direct and personal consequence to misbehaviour. Expectations need to be clear and evident, not glossed over with a fun activity.

Getting physical

Physical punishment will always be a controversial element of discipline. Judy sees how physical discipline can be useful in certain circumstances for children of certain ages. Though she believes there are plenty of preferable methods to reinforce proper behaviour without being physical, she has seen a correlation between better behaviour and harder forms of discipline. For Judy it depends on the situation and she explains her frustration with “the powers that be making judgment calls and assumptions as to what is and what is not appropriate discipline for each child in different situations.”

The Canadian Paediatric Society and Dr. Grenier do not support or recommend the use of physical punishment in any circumstance.

“Children learn a lot from others and they learn a lot by imitating,” explains Dr. Grenier. So it follows that modeling good behaviour as a parent makes good sense. By spanking a child or using physical discipline, Dr. Grenier believes you are teaching your child that using aggression to solve problems is acceptable. When a child gets aggressive, rather than getting aggressive back, Dr. Grenier recommends showing your child gentleness and soft behaviour to model how they should be acting.

To a certain extent, Nicolle sees “value in the speed of physical discipline and its usefulness in helping young children, who do not yet understand words.” Though she would never use physical discipline on anyone else’s child, she sees how the immediate connection between bad behaviour and a small amount of pain can teach a lasting lesson.

The same discipline method will not work for every parent or every child so it’s important to hear various perspectives. No one is going to be the perfect disciplinarian or the perfect parent, all we can do is try our best and set a positive example for our children.

What are your thoughts on discipline? What has worked or not worked for your family?

Sara also has a background in psychology and counselling.  For several years she specialized in the fields of anxiety, grief, and trauma and her experiences bring a unique perspective to her work as a photographer. Although she is no longer a practicing counsellor her interest and passion in connecting with others continues from behind her camera. When she’s behind the lens she’s looking to elicit and capture emotions: moments that provoke feelings and a sense of meaning in others.

Sara balanced a part-time career in community mental health with at-home parenting until November of 2010 when she left her work in mental health to pursue photography full time.  Somewhere in between being an at-home parent and running a busy photography business, she still finds time to pursue her other hobbies, writing and running.

Check out her professional photography blog or her personal family blog for more!

Fredrich Nietzsche famously said that, “without music, life would be a mistake.”  The early adoption of music into a child’s life has been linked to improving spatial reasoning, as well as problem-solving, evaluation, and analytic skills. Not to mention the joy and creative expression that music brings into a child’s life.

It was with these ideas in mind that Gloria Wright founded the music based Preschool for the Arts, in London, Ontario.

“I wanted to start a preschool, and make music available for all children,” says Wright.

“So in 1986, that’s what I did.”

As a former elementary school teacher, Wright saw how much music can help a child’s growth.

Wright founded her preschool on the belief that music is a listening art, and a written language.  She felt that a young child’s initial experiences should be through the ear, the whole body, and lastly through the eyes.

Wright created a program that had music as the foundation of all learning; a fun, creative environment, where children could experience movement, rhythm and song and begin to develop a deeper feeling for the music and knowledge of musical terms.

Wright worked at the Windermere Institute of Music, and studied many methods of music which she incorporates into the curriculum at the Preschool of the Arts.

Methods like Emile-Jacques Dalcroze’s, Eurhythmics, which uses the time-space-energy relationship of body movement, where creative movement is fun and leads to better co-ordination.

Or the methods of German composer Carl Orff, who believed that active participation is the best way to create music.  Musical understanding can be developed by using speech, movements, rhythm, singing and the use of simple instruments.  Simple percussion instruments are added to speech rhythm or songs that are familiar to the children.

“Whatever the activity,” says Wright, “our goal is to promote learning in an environment of affection, support encouragement and understanding.”

In addition to introducing music into the regular preschool curriculum, Wright is also a certified Music Together leader, and offers 10 week courses for those who want to take the musical experience home.

“I say leader not teacher because parents are the teachers, and children are the teachers, I just lead,” says Wright.

Music Together is a program that brings children and their parents together in the learning and music making process.  It’s based on the idea that all children are musical, that all children can learn to sing in tune, keep a beat, and participate with confidence music, provided that their early environment supports it.

The program provides a rich musical environment in the classroom and encourages families to participate in spontaneous musical activity at home.

In all the programs she offers, Wright has over 150 children, with only twelve part-time staff members to help out, but she doesn’t feel overwhelmed by the challenge.

“When you enjoy doing things, I don’t think there are a whole lot of challenges, just lots of fun,” says Wright.

“The most rewarding part of the job comes with the love from the children, and from the music.”

“I guess the most challenging thing,” says Wright “is keeping up with all the paper work.”

Heaven forbid we move slightly out of our comfort zone into uncomfortable change. The question is, “Is this your life?” I know it is, but is it really your dream life you couldn’t wait to get to? Maybe you are stuck in a job you dislike, or a marriage that doesn’t fit or debt you can’t manage. Match your life with your true passion and everything else falls into place.

These thoughts prompted our family into the next Hamori family adventure!

Yes we have a beautiful life. Canada is a wonderful place to live with good health care. Money is not a problem. It steadily comes in, and we steadily pay our bills. The difference for us came when the money grew and our bills never did. This allowed me to stay home with the kids for many years. Then life started to be about what mattered to me. The causes I fight for, the people I surround myself with and personal growth. With me home, Alfonz (my husband) didn’t have to share in the day-to-day stuff. He started to get more and more successful and he had a soft place to fall at the end of each stressful day. But this is not just my life to live on the back of my husband, who comes home exhausted. It’s his life too.  And why wouldn’t he deserve the same luxury of self-growth he allows for me.

I am not saying that staying home is a piece of cake, and that I don’t work my tail off cooking homemade meals each day, or growing a bio-intensive organic garden for my family to eat from, or teach my kids to read and write, and all the things life as a parent entails.

What I realized was being a parent was in fact my true self. Being home with my babies was my life’s ambition. And I felt a huge reward having the time to figure that out. When I found my groove, all the elements in my life started to jive. Aside from being a mom I found a passion for Montessori Education, volunteered at the children’s school, started a block watch in our community and began to blog. My circle of friends grew around me with people I love and respect, people I truly learn from. So I wasn’t idle eating bonbons watching soaps, I was my husband’s equal partner and my true self.

As such I worked 100% of the time to the best of my ability. People seem to work harder at the things they love. But how can we do the same for Alfonz?

Solution: A Year of travel through Europe, in hopes to find a home in South France with a ‘Gite’ or B&B. Buy it, run it and continue our family adventures.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in our adventure!

Eva Hamori Blogs her families European adventures at www.thatshamori.com

But the government regulates the information on the label, right? I mean, they can’t put it on there if it isn’t true!  There are things you need to know about what’s missing or misleading on a food label that could be affecting your health. Knowing what to look for and carefully comparing products that look similar but are very different will stand you in good stead.

1. The serving size.  Be sure you know the serving size is not the recommended amount that you should eat but that it is a reference number upon which everything else rests.

2. % of Daily Value. The number chosen is for a 2000 calorie per day diet which represents an average.  And you are not average.  So much can affect how many calories are right for you.  Be sure that you know how many calories are right for you, your number could be higher or lower.

3. The word “Colour”-Currently, in Canada a label only needs to say the word “colour” to disclose any number of ingredients that may be affecting your health. Certain artificial food colours have shown to cause hyperactive behaviour in some children and allergic reactions as well as asthma.  If it’s in there, you have a right to know which one it is so you can track reactions and be sure to avoid the ingredient. This stipulation is currently under review but even if it is overturned, don’t expect the makers of packages to be asked to move quickly to change, it will likely be voluntary for a while.

4. Slippery Sodium. Health Canada estimates that 88% of our salt intake comes from packaged foods so simply putting away the salt shaker isn’t the solution.  Packages contain a “% Daily Value” amount that is too high so it obscures the facts.  Most health care professionals recommend around 1500 mg per day as a maximum.  Nutrition labels allow 2400 mg per day (because the Canadian average is around 3300). Be sure that this is a percentage that you stay well below. There are ways to reduce your sodium, but in the meantime, read every package, add up your sources for a day and do not go above 75% of the “% DV”

5. There are only 13 “important nutrients” that must be listed on a label. But of course, a healthy diet contains much, much more.  If a piece of fruit listed all of its nutrients, the label would wrap around it many times over.  Most of your nutrients will actually be coming from whole foods…Be sure that this is also where most of your calories come from and you will be right on track.

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Get ‘em Online!
Kids are going to need to learn about social media and technology eventually, the better and the sooner they understand it, they better they’ll get by in school and in their careers. I think it’s also true that if we get them introduced to online interactions early, the less likely they are to use this irresponsibly down the road. The novelty of having their own phone, their own computer, an internet connection and a Facebook account won’t be as strong if we slowly integrate technology into our children’s lives right from the start. PLUS there are so many kid-friendly versions of social media (Disney’s Club Penguin for example) and so much to learn by being online in age-appropriate ways. There is no sense burying our heads in the sand on this one – get ‘em online!

Not Yet!
Social media is going to be an inevitable part of everyone’s lives and so too, as far as I can see, are smart phones and constantly being connected. I think if that’s going to be our path, if we are definitely going to have to engage in endless online communication then why not let our kids be kids for as long as possibly. They will pick up what they need to learn about technology and all of its many offerings when the time is right. No child under the age of ten needs a cell phone let alone a Blackberry or an iPad! We all got along without these luxuries as kids and I think we’re all better for it. There is too high a risk of bullying and exposing our children to social predators by getting them logged on from an early age so prolonging that until they’re able to understand the risks is going to be my approach.

What do you think? When would you get your child their first cell phone? Would you get them online as soon as possible or delay it for as long as you could?

Eva was working at Safeway for nearly 20 years, when after a string of deaths in her family, realized now was the time to live her best life and not wait for retirement to do everything she and her family wanted. For the Hamori’s that meant travelling with the kids.

They sold it all; the house, the cars, the successful business, made a one-year plan and turned their regularly scheduled vacations into a lifestyle.

‘Travel doesn’t have to stop when you become a parent.’ The Hamori family has travelled with their kids since they were in vitro, and are still going strong.

They started a family adventure website, That’s Hamori, to share their story.
‘The website was intended as a one-year adventure journal from preparation to our search for a B&B to run as a family and our eventual move to France. The intent was to make it a book. It has spread to other topics like travelling with kids and living your dream life. We are pleased with its success.’

Their website takes readers from Hungary, Italy, Germany, Austria and it details the Hamoris’ bold leap of faith: moving to France. Their ‘Together Family’ searched for a life based on time currency. A small family business would free up the time they needed to spend with their kids exploring the world.

‘The kids learn invaluable information while travelling; hearing different languages, seeing cultures and traditions first hand, experiencing through sensory learning, not from the TV or a book. I want my kids to roll with the punches, be adaptable to new places, and think outside the box. I believe travel does all these things for them’.

The Hamoris bought a Westfalia Camper Van, and with their itinerary planned out for the next year, their adventure continues.

Tune in to the latest updates from Eva Hamori here!

–
That’s Hamori!

our
family adventure journal
www.thatshamori.com <http://www.thatshamori.com>

Described as a miracle worker by her clients, Pam Nease left a successful career in the Fall of 2009 to open up her own business as a Sleep Consultant.  She rescues babies and children from the plight of sleep deprivation by showing parents how to give their little ones the beautiful gift and skill of sleep.

Pam meets with clients in person, over the phone and offers group seminars.

She has appeared on the radio, is the sleep expert for two magazines and is a sought after keynote speaker for Baby Fairs across the Okanagan. Based in Kelowna BC, she has a growing local & international clientele which ranges from single parents to NHL Hockey Players, Celebrities, Nurses and Family Physicians.

For more great information and your FREE copy of the 5 Easy Steps to baby sleep, please visit her website at www.sleepsense.net/kelowna. She would also love to hear from you on Facebook and Twitter.

Authors Erica Wells and Lorraine Regel are real moms who have experienced the everyday ups and downs of new motherhood. Fed up with parenting resources that only provided basic information on what Mommy and Baby “should” be doing, in The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms they have provided information, tips and reassuring answers to every new mom’s questions with warmth, humour, and unflinching honesty.

A mother to two children ages six and three, Erica Wells holds a Bachelor of Business Administration and has had numerous senior sales and marketing roles throughout her career in telecommunications and information technology in Vancouver, BC. She is passionate about motherhood and a champion for women’s growth and development within our society.

Lorraine Regel describes the first year of motherhood as the biggest upheaval of her life and knows firsthand the importance of support, friendship and comradeship during this period. Lorraine is a mom of two little ones recently relocated to Surrey, UK after a 10 year stint in Vancouver.

The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms is available now in book stores across Canada and the USA or online at on Amazon.ca, ChaptersIndigo.ca and Amazon.com

Follow their blog at http://survival4moms.com