Nurse to Sleep … Is it Bad?

I was asked this question recently on Twitter. The answer, in a nutshell, is yes. Over the long term, it causes problems.

But, let me be very clear: you can still exclusively breast feed AND create a great sleeper. The two are not mutually exclusive.

When a baby is a newborn, their tummies are tiny and they need to be nursed frequently. Yes, there is a correlation between full stomachs and better sleep. When they are a few weeks old, you can nurse them to sleep and then transfer them into the bassinet or the crib and they will often sleep for long periods.

However, as a mom, I know that there is nothing more beautiful than holding your newborn baby, watching them feed from your breast and then fall asleep in your arms. It can break your heart and fill you with joy.

The problem is that over time the breast becomes a sleep prop. The baby becomes dependent upon it to get to sleep at bedtime and for naps. They associate it with not only nourishment but their vehicle to take them from point A awake to point B asleep.

Then, somewhere between the second and fourth month, all hell breaks loose. These babies that were sleeping for nice long periods after being nursed to sleep for naps and at bedtime are no longer doing that. They are waking up more frequently and crying until Mom comes in and nurses them to sleep.

As a parent, your mind races and wonders … why is it getting WORSE? I expected to be up every 2 to 3 hours with a newborn … but they are now four months old and weigh way more … why are they waking more frequently?

As parents, we are left perplexed and looking for answers … ‘it must be a growth spurt, they must be getting teeth, is it gas? Are they sick? Was it the immunizations? Was it because we went away and stayed in a hotel? Is it something I am eating?’

The answer is no to all of the above. It is simply that the baby has an external strategy to sleep and they are older and more aware of their surroundings.

How a baby or a child falls asleep makes all the difference on how they get back to sleep. If a baby is nursed to sleep at bedtime, they will need to be nursed back to sleep.

Typically, most parents get frustrated and look for other methods to get their babies back to sleep. ‘I know he must not be hungry, so I will …. rock him, get Dad to soothe, use the swing….’

The best thing for your baby is to prevent them from becoming dependent on external strategies for sleep. Allowing them to develop their own internal sleep strategies is the best gift in the world: the skill of sleep.

When baby number two arrived, I still exclusively breast fed her. By 10 weeks, she was sleeping 10 hours through the night, waking up once to nurse, going back to bed for another two to three hours. Instead of nursing TO sleep, I focused on having her back in the crib drowsy but awake. Over time, with practice and no crying, she learned to put herself to sleep.

And, now I have the pleasure of showing parents how to instill the right habits from the start so that they can have the “Maddy” experience too. It is never too early to start in my opinion.  It is also never too late. Sleep is a skill and every baby and child can learn and master it.

Pam Nease BA, Licensed Sleep SenseTM Consultant. Please visit her website at www.sleepsense.net/kelowna for more information.

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